Grants and Scholarships - Honest, respectful opinions: What do you think?

Honest, respectful opinions: What do you think?

My husband and I have been married for 2 and a half years. We got married pretty young, we were both 19, but we'd known each other for 7 years and dated all through high school and our first year of college. We currently rent a cute three bedroom house with a nice porch and a little yard, and we are both juniors at a university in Texas majoring in education. My husband is a head-wait server at a popular, expensive steak house, and I wait tables at a local restaurant near our school. I also just interviewed for a job working for the city newspaper, as I’ve worked in a restaurant for too many years. We don't have money problems, and are very well-off for college students. We also receive scholarships and grants that pay for our education. Six months ago we began talking about wanting a child. We'd always said before that we wanted to wait until after we bought our own house and started our "real" jobs as teachers, and we wanted to make sure that we did everything "right." Now, though, we would really like to have a baby. We are both 21, and by society’s standards, “too young to have children.” It’s been really hard recently when two of our close friends found out that they were going to be parents because we feel that we’re ready for a child and would love to have one now, while they are unmarried and pregnant by “mistake.” Several people we have classes with at school have children, and they say it wasn’t that hard for them. We can afford for me to stay home after I have the baby and take care of it while my husband works in the evenings. We can also both still finish school, as we could take classes only Tuesday’s and Thursday’s and have my best friend watch our baby for a few hours. I also have a grandmother that lives close by that would love to help if we ever needed her to. We aren’t in any real hurry to finish school either. Life is good right now. My husband’s parents would be THRILLED if we made them grandparents. My husband’s brother just got married a few months ago, and it would kill us to see them get pregnant before we did (as horrible as that sounds). My parents were very FOR us waiting to have children when we first got married, but in the last year every time we have dinner all my mom talks about is when we are planning to make her a grandmother and how she wants to be there every step of the way. My grandfather might be a little disappointed, however; but I’m unsure. I would just really like to hear someone else’s not-so-brutally honest opinion about our situation. No, we don’t own our own home, but we do have a spacious place with bedrooms to spare. No we don’t have our “real” jobs yet, but we have money for everything we both need and want. This may not have been part of our original plan, and even though I am a very big planner, we really want to be parents now. As silly as this sounds, my husband is sooo helpful and good with helping me take care our 5 month old German shepherd (who used to be quite a handful) and our cat, and I know he would be a great father. So should we or shouldn’t we? Any opinions/thoughts you have would be appreciated. Actually, I'm from Houston, a very BIG town. I have been outside of the community, and outside of the country. Wanting to get pregnant and not being pregnant is a very hard thing for women to experience, and you should talk to someone who's wanted to have a child so bad and had to watch everyone around them get pregnant while they didn't. People 35 years old experience that, and I don't think me admitting that it would hurt me to have to watch them have what we want makes me a bad or immature person. It's a very hard thing, something you've apparently never experienced.

Public Comments

I think your more then ready for a child, maybe not by societies standards, but all it takes it the desire for a child..and the economic needs are met..i don't see a reason for you not to have a child. If you feel you are ready..go ahead and give it a shot. Just be ready, with friends/grandparents/parents nearby in case you get something your not expecting. If you think your ready go for it, no one else's opinion should matter in this situation.
I believe you should finish school first. Regardless of owning or renting or any other financial concern or votes from future Grandparents, life in general is just harder with a baby. It's also much richer and meaningful, but first things first, it's hard. Why not double up on your schooling so you can finish sooner? At the very least have that one thing accomplished...when I had my first baby I was 27. When he was 3 mos. old my husband and I stated our own business and I helped out from home. I also took an accounting course from the local community college, and it was HARD. I sometimes think that perhaps I could have enjoyed my first baby a lot more if I hadn't put so much on my plate, and I regret some of my lack of patience and general worn outness.
go ahead squeeze out a puppy or two since youre so "well off"
It's what you both want that counts. Since you both want to start a family, it's the right time for you.
I HONESTLY THINK YOU SHOULD GO WITH WHAT YOU FEEL. IN THE LONG RUN YOU ARE THE ONE WHO HAS TO CARRY THE BABY. IT MAY SOUND SELFISH, BUT YOU HAVE TO DO WHAT WORKS FOR YOU. IT SOUNDS TO ME LIKE YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE HAVING DOUBTS!NOT SAYING YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND COULDN`T HAVE CHILDREN LATER.DON`T JUST DO IT TO BE THE FIRST ONE.TAKE TIME AND SMELL THE ROSES.TRUST ME KIDS ARE WONDERFUL BUT YOU WILL MISS THESE TIMES ENJOY THEM.HAPPY PARENTS MAKE BETTER PARENTS!!!!!!!
Well, it all sounds very "white picket fence" small town like. First of all, I think you should stop worrying about what other people are doing, and it DOES sound horrible (and immature) that it would "kill you" if your brother and law and his wife were pregnant before you. That is not a good reason to be in a hurry to have a child. I expect that citing opinions such as that are part of why society largely regards 21 years old as young to be a parent. Have you ever travelled outside of your community? Ever thought that, as teachers, you can work in virtually any country of the world and experience cultures and values different to your own, therefore gaining wider perspectives and making you, in the long term, better teachers, and more open minded parents? It's not for everyone, but it is just a thought, and much easier childless. As you said, "life is good right now" - why are you in such a hurry to change it? With divorce statistics so high, perhaps you are in the perfect position to enjoy being married, and finish your education without the added responsibility. I have my doubts that you would ever finish your degree after having said child, and that is fine, but to have started something like that, you must have had a passion for it, and if you do, it would be a shame not to finish. So they are my thoughts about your situation. You are extremely young, sound as though you have experienced very little, and you have many child-bearing years ahead of you. Ultimately, if someone is immature enough to make the comment that someone else being pregnant first would be a killer, than I think they should think twice about their reasons for wanting a child. But, apparently (and I don't know, I've not met that many), some Americans are happy to marry young, have children young, and never experience life outside of America. So I guess they'll never know better. It's up to you!
Well, you and your hubby need to make sure that you want to start a family (meaning- just because your friends are having kids you feel because you are married that you should to). It's just my opinion but, yes 21 is young. No, it doesn't mean that you won't be good parents! This is a decision that only you and your husband should make. It shouldn't matter what other people think. Just because your in-laws would love to become grandparents doesn't mean that you have to fulfill this now. Going to school while pregnant is very tough and draining. Going to school and trying to study with a new born or toddler is even tougher.Just make sure that if you decide on having a baby you finish school. Don't take a semester off, you won't go back (yes, I know this from experience). You don't need to own your own home to have children, there are many families that rent. Formula and diapers are expensive. Make sure that you have medical insurance, all of the vaccinations and well baby check ups with the doctors can add up. The financial part of raising a child not only can strain your wallet, but can strain your relationship with your husband.
listen!!! your married,21years old and have jobs and have a place . and most importantly you and your husband have each other and that's all that matters. not what others think or feel about y'all and y'all decisions. that up to u guys y'all are one now so it's up to y'all!!! i think its a great idea 4 y'all 2 have a child... it sounds like u guys have all y'all ducks in a row and ready to go!!!!! (smile) So go and have that baby
I'll tell you what my parents told me when my wife and I constantly said we weren't ready to have a baby. If you wait until you are 'ready' you will never be ready. There are plenty of reasons to not have a baby, but when you actually have one you make the arrangements to make it work. Our first child was an accidental pregnancy, and we still didn't think we were ready, but everything worked out. That being said, if you want to finish school I would wait until then at least because it will make doing so more difficult, though not impossible. Also, be aware that children can put strain on a relationship at times because it is another responsibility and there will be some sleepless nights as well, at least at first, but having a child was the greatest thing that ever happened to me. They are my two best friends!
Kids are great, but you won't be able to finish school with a new baby right away. You should finish school and get established in a job. Sometimes you have to wait for things you want so that your life will be better in the end. You are still very young and although you have it together right now, things might change. I think you should wait. The idea is glamorous and wonderful but the actual baby part is really really hard.
You are definitly ready to have a child. You are with one who you'll probably be with forever, you are stable financially, and having a baby would not be a "mistake." Go for it, and I hope everything turns out fine. By the way, almost every girl wishes they had what you have. I know I do.